Ebenezzer Quek
Fearfully & wonderfully made in the image of God to display His character & proclaim His Name
28 October 2022 - 28 October 2022
Thank you for being here
We created this page for you to read abit about our journey with our dear son, Ebenezzer.
If you'd like to watch the recording of Zeddie's Memorial Service you can find the link below.
Ebenezzer Quek Memorial Service
Our prayer is that through Ebenezzer's life and death, God will be glorified.
- Vernon & Ruth Quek
Getting to know Ebenezzer
Entered into earth on
28 October 2022, 12:09
Entered into Heaven on
28 October 2022, 13:19
Our time with Ebenezzer
22 March 2022,
Our first scan to confirm we were expecting Quekling 3. Queklings 1 & 2 were very very excited!!
25 April 2022,
12 week scan where our gynae could not clearly see the baby’s head because of the angle and asked us to come back for a follow up scan.
11 May 2022,
Follow up scan. Something abnormal was detected and we were asked to go for a second opinion scan.
13 May 2022,
Second opinion scan confirmed that Quekling 3 had a condition called Anencephaly
22 May 2022,
Informed our church family about Quekling 3's diagnosis. Reminded through Psalm 104 that God is Creator, Sustainer & Redeemer of all creation! Praise God!!
8 June 2022,
Found out that Quekling 3 was going to be a boy!! Alyssa was very disappointed, she wanted a little sister.
29 July 2022,
Family holiday to Perth & Margaret River with Ebenezzer!
28 October 2022, 12:09
Finally get to meet Ebenezzer in the flesh!!
28 October 2022, 13:19
Ebenezzer is safe in the arms of Jesus
Our journey with Ebenezzer
When we found out about our son's diagnosis, we were sure about 2 things -
1. that this precious child was given to us by God, and only God as the creator, giver and sustainer of all life, had the right to take a life away. And so we knew we would be carrying this baby to term even though his diagnosis was "not compatible with life".
2. we were confident that this season of walking through grief and the unknown was something that God was going to use for our good - to help us build our 'faith muscles' and to strengthen our understanding of what it means to say, "God is good, all the time.".
In the past 6 plus months, God has been so kind to our family, gently leading us step by step and showing us in very real ways that He loves us and He is working for our good.
Some things we are specifically thankful for:
A relationship with God and a knowledge of the Gospel that existed before 13 May 2022 (diagnosis day)
The only reason our world didn't crumble around us when we received Ebenezzer's diagnosis in the doctor's office....
We knew that our God was in control and that we could trust Him even if we didn't have all the answers.
As we sat in the doctor's office taking in the news, God so kindly brought to mind the many ways He had been preparing our hearts for this season and that reassured us that He would be with us every step of the way.
A good understanding about suffering and the christian life through our time in Romans in 2017
We are eternally grateful for good teaching and equipping in the understanding of God's Word that meant we didn't have to figure out our theology at the doctor's clinic.
Our close friends and family and the way they recognize and value Zeddie's life.
Friends who modelled to their children how to recognize and love Zeddie's life. Thus allowing our children to have conversations about their little unborn brother with their little friends.
Friends who've walked this road before us.
Friends we already knew and friends we made - all over the world and all united by the same Gospel Hope that because Jesus died on the cross and rose again - we need not fear death. We will be reunited with our children when He comes again.
Ebenezzer's Name - meaning
Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called it's name Ebenezer, for he said, "Till now the Lord has helped us."
1 Samuel 7:12
Choosing a name for our 3rd child came really easy for us. We knew right away that if our baby was a boy, he would be named Ebenezzer (we added a double 'z' to continue the trend of double letters in our children's names). As the Bible verse above states,
Ebenezer means 'God is our help'. It was the name of a stone that Samuel the prophet put up to remind God's people that God had helped them. Similarly, our desire is that Ebenezzer Quek will be a stone of remembrance (Joshua 4) pointing people to YAHWEH God, His Son Jesus and the Good News of the Gospel.
At the start of 2022, our local church decided to preach through the book of Ecclesiastes - intense. Vernon preached a sermon on 27th February on Ecclesiastes 7:13-29.
(You can watch it here, begin at the 6min mark)
In his sermon, Vernon talked about a man Reverend Thomas Boston, a Scottish minister who towards the end of his life published a sermon on Ecclesiastes chapter 7 called
'The Crook In The Lot'.
In his sermon, Rev. Boston agreed with the Preacher in Ecclesiastes that while we are here in this world there will be some incident in our life (that is part of God's active work in this world) that grates us, pains us and all the wisdom in the world would not make things right.
For Thomas Boston - it was losing 7 out of the 10 children born to him and his wife, before the age of 2 years. His 5th & 6th child were named Ebenezer - named to testify about God's goodness and help even through all the 'crookedness in his lot'.
Thomas Boston believed in the goodness and the sovereignty of God. Rather than turning away from God, he turned towards Him and wrote this sermon not to blame God but to show God's goodness in ALLOWING this world to be crooked, so that the crookedness could point people back to Him.
This sermon illustration resonated with us so clearly and immediately after we confirmed that our 3rd child would not survive outside of the womb.
In naming our son Ebenezzer, we too want to proclaim that this world is indeed broken BUT our God is working in and through the brokenness in the world to teach us to long for the better world to come!
We want to turn to God and fear Him even as we continue to grapple with the brokenness of this world. And we want Zeddie’s story to do the same.
What we’ve learnt through the blessing of Ebenezzer’s life
Finding out about Ebenezzer’s life limiting diagnosis gave us opportunity to live out and experience in our own lives what we had come to believe about our Creator God.
As Matt Chandler writes in his book 'Joy in the Sorrow',
The Bible is full of stories that hold pain, heartbreak, disappointment and suffering. It's a book more full of tears than smiles. It's full of God working for the good of His people through the suffering and through difficulty, so that they come out on the other side as picture of grace and glory, and He uses them in their pain and changes the world though the results of their trials. But what is unique about the biblical perspective is not only that suffering is a reality but that joy in that suffering can be a reality too.
This is the God we have chosen to follow. A God who did not promise His people a life without suffering - but a God who promised to walk through the suffering with them. Isaiah 41:10 in the Bible says "fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
And this God we have chosen to follow knew about injustice and suffering too. His own Son died a horrible, painful death - He knew what it was like to be separated from the son you love. And He was working to fix that problem.
And so, we are grateful that our God has counted us worthy for this. Now, in a small way, we get to show that He is enough. We get to praise Him and thank Him for this - the opportunity to point to Him in this season of sorrow and suffering, to proclaim His Name and His faithfulness and to experience real joy in the suffering!
When we broke the news of Ebenezzer's diagnosis to the children, Alyssa teared and asked why did God make baby without a full skull. We answered honestly - we don't know, and maybe we won't know why until we go to Heaven and ask God face to face. But what we do know is that God is still good - even when bad things happen. And when we need help to see that, we can pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help us.
And that is still true for us today. As we grieve the loss of our son, and lament at the brokenness of this world, the presence of unexplained suffering because of sin - we hold on to the sure and certain truth about our God's character, seen all through the Bible... That our God is working to fix this broken world and He promises a day when He will swallow up death forever (Isaiah 25:7&8)
Revelation 21:3-5 And I (John) heard a lord voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And He who was seated on the throne said, "Behold I am making all things new." Also He said, "write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
Some Resources that helped us along this journey
podcasts
Two Ways To Live
If you're here on this site and you're wondering who Jesus is or you want to find out more about Him and what He teaches - we've linked a short video explaining this Gospel that we believe in.
We would also love to connect with you and share more about our Hope and our faith and why we can have joy even as we mourn the death of our son.
Thank you.....
Thank you to everyone who has journeyed with us in one way or another.
Medical Professionals -
Dr Kek Lee Phin (Mt. E)
Dr Felicia Chin (KKH)
Dr Anju Bhatia (STORK at KKH)
Dr Komal Tewani (Pallative Care at KKH)
The Neo Natal Team at KKH
Joan Leong for the beautiful memories captured that we will always cherish.
Abel Speaks for supporting us through podcasts and Zoom calls and regular check ins.
To everyone who so willingly and readily agreed to help us out with Zeddie's memorial.
To our church family & our family who have been supporting us in prayer all the way.
To our friends who preach truth to us every time your lives reflect this same Gospel we believe in.
To God, our Rock - who will continue to see us through day by day, till we are all reunited again.
If you’ve been impacted by Ebenezzer’s story or would like to reach out and connect with us you can reach us at vernonandruth@gmail.com
Or on Instagram - @learningwithzed
If you’d like to leave a few words for the family you can do so in the link below.
